Finding Intimacy After Kids: Insights From Nina Westbrook
Hey mama,
This week, we sat down with the fabulous Nina Westbrook, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, mom of three (including twins!), and the founder of Bene By Nina, where they focus on creating community for those looking to live healthier and happier lives. Nina opens up about the rollercoaster of maintaining intimacy with your partner after kids come into the picture. Let’s dive into this heart-to-heart.
From Duo to Trio (or More): Navigating the Shift
Before kids, Nina and her husband had their routines down pat. Long-distance relationships? Juggled. Busy schedules? Managed. But when kids entered the scene, especially with three little ones, the game changed. Nina shares, "Creating time for each other used to happen naturally and easily. By the time we added three kids to the mix, creating time for each other had become our biggest challenge. We had to get very intentional about carving out time to nurture our relationship." The secret sauce? Scheduling date nights like you would a recurring Zoom call. No matter what, their weekly date night is non-negotiable.
Sneaking in Moments of Connection
Between work, mom life, and everything in between, Nina and her husband have found creative ways to steal moments together. "Finding small ways throughout the day to sneak a moment together can be fun and exciting. Meeting up to share your lunch break, running errands together, or surprising your partner with coffee at work – it’s these little things that keep the spark alive." And let’s be honest, there’s something undeniably sexy about seeing your partner killing it at work or during a workout. It’s a reminder of who they are outside the daily parenting grind.
The Power of Support
Nina emphasizes the importance of a solid support system for childcare. "It truly takes a village to raise a kid," she says. Quality time can still be found without childcare; it’s all about creativity and commitment. Early morning tea before the kids wake up, evening walks, or even a late-night movie date while the kids sleep – every bit counts.
Unexpected Blessings
Despite the challenges, parenthood has also brought Nina and her husband closer. "We bond over our children, and they are the one thing that brings us closer together. We love being their parents, and it’s the most important thing we’ll ever do, and we get to do it together."
Advice For New Parents
Nina’s golden nugget of advice for new parents struggling with intimacy? "Don’t put pressure or outside expectations on what you’re doing as a couple. Be in constant communication, ensure what works for one works for both, and find compromise when it isn’t. Remember to give your partner grace and understand that what you’re both doing at this time in your life is completely new."
Here for you,
Nina’s wisdom is a reminder that while the journey of parenthood can be a wild ride, it’s all about finding those little pockets of connection and giving each other grace. So, here’s to intentional date nights, sneaky lunch breaks, and the beautiful chaos of parenthood.
Follow Nina on IG: @NINAWESTBROOK
Visit her website: benebynina.com
